WADING IN THE DARK WATERS OF DISAPPOINTMENT
Some mornings one can awaken, rise & shine filled with so much hope for either the events of the day or perhaps just one seemingly simple intention, yet one that's predicated on wishful thinking of sorts. It's that "I'm gonna accomplish _________ today!
And then the ________ you set out to do is dependent upon sparking interest and action from another person.......Somebody somewhere out there in the world.
You wait....... you watch..... you refresh your browser..... and then you wait some more and soon a sad reality begins to set in when you realize you're just not one of those people that folks are interested in. An ego bruiser for sure. One made all the more painful when at over the age of 50 you can't rent a car because you a liability with no credit because you made some profoundly poor financial choices because you didn't know any better, nobody taught you. An under-employed gig-worker with no secure income, less than $700 in the bank account, diminishing daily, living expenses growing while hope for the future dwindles ................AHHHH!
.............................................DEEP BREATH...........................................................
But I digress. Disappointment seems to be a shape-shifting emotion by the way the tends to manifest in one's body differently depending on the circumstance which provoked it. An example of this might be; You're ordering take-out and they are sold out of the thing you really wanted and now you have to pivot. The inititial sensation is disappointment but it's not of the soul-crushing kind. My usual response in that situation might be, "Ah man that sucks!" and then I make a new choice. I don't get mad and say "F-U" and hang up, it's mild disappointment. Manageable.
It's the soul-crushing disappointments which usually shake me to my tender core. The experience is much like bizzare weather events resembling micro dust devils or isolated thunderstorms; formulated under unique conditions, brief yet intense in the aftermath of impact, rivers of tears trigger run-off waterfalls. Nature carries and shares beauty even while enraged. And so do we.
During the course of this August New Moon please remember to Ebb & Flow with Her. Just because you cannot see Her doesn't mean She is Invisible. Explore Your Dark Side with Care & Loving Compassion. It's OK to Sit With Your Sadness. Stars Shine Brightest Across a Dark Sky. Wade in the Still Waters of Your Quiet Soul. Love is energy knowing no boundaries it's all around you whether you choose to acKNOWledge or not.
Eternally Shining My Healing Love Light In Service Of Us All!
Lisa Thunderbird Vitrano
